I heard from one of my spiritual mentors this weekend. He’d been reading some of my recent posts. He had a word for me.
I want to tell you what I hear. I hear anger. I’m just having trouble figuring out who it’s directed at. If it’s directed at yourself you have got to deal with it. If it’s directed at God and you don’t take care of it, He will. That can get nasty. If you are angry at satan, you can’t deal with it yourself. You’ve got to let God work on that. All you have to do is say; “The Lord rebuke you.”
I thanked him. His comment clarified my own perception. Although I hesitated at first, I concluded that my friend was probably correct to suspect my anger was directed at God. I have been thinking about Paul’s lament that he found himself doing what he knew was the wrong thing (Romans 7:15-20). I conclude that my anger toward God is rising up out of my desperate flesh, frustrated at not being in control. Something has to change and it is not likely to be God’s Will that must do the changing.
Later today, for the second time in three weeks I get to spend some hours on the toilet, this time preparing for a week in the hospital. This time I am facing a bowel resection for a cancerous polyp. Prayers for Melanie and myself, please. And join with me in reciting some promises and principles. I’m trying to recite them with a smile.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.