This morning Melanie followed me as Chief Safety Officer as I walked entirely around the outside of our house, leaning on my walker. She watched how I was placing my feet and, like a good coach and like the other therapists working with me, spoke up about what I was doing wrong. And she cited the Authority.
“That’s not how they told you to do it.”
She was correct. That made it all the more annoying. Annoying because she did not – could not – see the rest of what was overwhelming my data inputs at the moment, and take them into account. I wasn’t doing things exactly “right.” But I hadn’t fallen over yet either. Didn’t that count?
Almost immediately I remembered to thank her. I do realize that she means well. And I do need and value the extra pair of eyes on me.
Unfortunately I also started to preach at her. That was wrong. I have this blog so that I’ll have some place to do that.
What I was seeing was a kind of further application of the “God’s birthday cakes” symbol that has been growing in my mind. I realized again the limits to my vision, limits everyone has. Melanie spoke up about what she could see and about what didn’t look right to her. I wasn’t paying attention to the detail she noticed because I was juggling other sensations of imbalance and support in my damaged body. She wasn’t wrong. She just didn’t see everything. Neither did I. None of us ever do.
It’s part of why Jesus tells us to let go and let him direct us. It’s why “no other gods before me” leads the list.
Yes, God gives us birthday cakes for us to enjoy. But He gives us instructions and direction so that we will live and survive. Sometimes He sends them through the members of His family that are close to us (see Commandment No. 5, for example).
Thank you, Lord, that Melanie and I haven’t gotten stuck in any of those “told you so” conversations yet. Do help me to listen when she speaks, just in case it’s really You. What the prophets say must be judged, it’s true (I Corinthians 14:29). But first they must be allowed to speak.
[By the way, let me bring up another matter and ask you intercessors to pray for my precious wife. The other day she admitted to me she is often battling sadness over what has happened to me and to us. She does her best to keep her mind on how the Lord is blessing us. But there are also the things the Lord has taken away, at least for now. Her sadness is real. When she tries to get me to do things right I realize it is because she, too, hates the way things are just now and wants them to change. Remember her in your prayers, please.]